I guess it’s been a while

It’s been a while since I’ve gotten much done. 

I got a second job in July, and it’s taken some time to sort of figure out how to get stuff done while working six days a week. I think I’ve figured it out now. I really only need to sleep 5, maybe 4 hours a night. I do my best writing in the evening, so I don;t mind staying up late to get some work done.

I’ve been taking a journal to work now, just in case I have a few spare minutes to take some notes. The way things are set up at my job now gives me way more free time. It also helps that I move 3 times as fast as I did last year, due to the overnight shifts I worked all summer. I think that makes me part ninja.

So, I have alot of spare moments to write at work, but I try not to be so obvious about it. I’m technically supposed to be working, even when there’s no work to do. I keep thinking about bringing a book to read, but I think that might be pushing it a bit too far. I’m in the middle of American Gods right now, which I’m really enjoying. 

I had gotten a little lazy last week. I was slouched against my table, journal out, ignoring everyone else at the store when the general manager walked up to ask me a question.

“What are you doing?” he asked, with a look of surprise. “Are you writing secrets in your diary?” He started laughing and tried to look at the journal as I tucked it back into my bag. “What was that?” he asked again. “What’s in your little journal?”

I could feel my cheeks burning red, but I ignored his comments and tried to steer the conversation back to work. 

It was one of those moments where I realized how awkward I tend to be. I have built this mean and forceful persona while at work. It’s helpful because it means that people stay out of my way and leave me alone, but it also means that no one believes I exist outside of work. People seem to get a kick out of seeing me do normal things, or dress in normal clothes. 

I have to admit, though, that I encourage the idea that I’m not real outside of work. When I first started, I acted like myself. I told people about my interests and what I planned on doing in the future. But I just teased and made fun of. So when I got promoted, I learned to be fast and harsh. I like to think it makes me seem mysterious, but I’m pretty sure it mostly comes off as “bitchy”. 

So while I’m being mysteriously bitchy at work, I try to covertly write or make notes. I don’t know why I was so embarrassed when I got caught writing. It is my real passion. I’ve decided to just keep my head down and do my job, and try not to get involved in anything at work. I have things I need to accomplish, and stressing out about my day job is just going to bring me down.

Making writing my main priority has been the theme of this month. I need to push myself to get this book done by December, so I can get it edited and start on the next one. I’ve even created a small project for myself, which I will be posting on here soon. I’ve written a short piece for each day of the week, and it’s actually been pretty fun. They aren’t very long, but I’ll probably just keep it to one story per post. To get more posts. Which, of course, is very important. 

I know this post has been all over, and sometimes rambling, but I’m trying to get my thoughts together. I’ve finally gotten a handle on having 2 jobs now, and I’m making writing my top priority again. This summer was outrageous. I think I’m ready for fall to begin. It always brings me more creative energy. I think it’s because I’m actually fueled by pumpkin. 

I hope everyone out there is enjoying the cool weather! I’m waiting for more brisk air so I can break out the moccasins and jackets. Fall is clearly the best time of year.

Thank you for reading this rambling mess today!

-JBL

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About jblamping

I'm just going to keep writing until I run out of words
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